Practising Before Performing: Why Being Seen Accelerates Coaching Development

There are few things that make most coaches wince quite like watching themselves back on video.

I usually see a subtle tightening in shoulders the moment I mention it. Mine did exactly the same the first time. It can feel exposing, slightly awkward, and far removed from the reflective conversations many of us enjoy. And yet, time and again, it proves to be one of the most powerful learning tools we have.

This is not just true when using creative approaches. It applies to coaching, full stop.

As coaches, we read widely. We train. We log hours. We reflect. On paper, we often feel competent and well prepared. In practice, the reality of being in the room is far more nuanced. Subtle habits show up. Our timing, language, and assumptions become visible in ways they rarely do in our own heads.

Watching yourself coach, or being observed by others, brings these patterns into focus very quickly. It can feel cringy, yes, but that discomfort is usually just information. It highlights how we listen, when we interrupt, how comfortable we are with silence, and how we respond when things feel uncertain.

One of the most useful outcomes of this kind of observation is how quickly it sharpens self-awareness. What might otherwise take months to notice through reflection alone often becomes clear within minutes of seeing yourself work. Not in a judgemental way, but in a practical, “ah, that’s what’s happening there” way.

This becomes particularly valuable when we stretch into new territory. Creative tools are one example. Because they invite metaphor, felt sense, and ambiguity, they tend to amplify whatever is already present in our coaching. They show us how we hold not knowing, how much structure we impose, and how grounded we remain when the conversation moves away from logic and into something more emergent.

But the learning does not stop there.

Having a space to practise and be witnessed also opens the door to conversations that many coaches quietly carry on their own. Ethical dilemmas. Uncertainty about boundaries. Moments where you leave a session wondering whether you drifted into mentoring or consultancy without quite realising it. Questions you feel you “should” already know the answer to, but are not entirely sure about.

These are not signs of poor practice. They are signs of thoughtful practice.

Coaching is relational, responsive, and context dependent. It is entirely possible to move slightly out of role with the best of intentions, particularly when working with familiar clients or in complex organisational settings. Having a space where you can name this openly, without judgement, is invaluable.

This is where practising in a safe environment really matters. A space where nothing is at stake. Where curiosity outweighs performance. Where you can test approaches, explore edges, and sense-check your work without the pressure of needing to appear polished or certain.

Working alongside other coaches in this way does something else too. It normalises the learning edge. You quickly realise that uncertainty does not disappear with experience. It simply changes shape. The benefit of shared reflection is not about comparison, but about perspective. You gain insight not only into your own practice, but into the many ways good coaching can show up.

Mentor coaching, particularly in group settings, offers a container for this kind of exploration. Done well, it is not about being told what to do. It is about slowing down, noticing patterns, and making small, meaningful adjustments that strengthen your work over time. It creates space for experimentation, ethical reflection, and recalibration.

If you are a coach who knows that watching yourself back would feel uncomfortable, or who has questions you have been holding quietly, you are not alone. The cringe is often simply the doorway. On the other side of it sits clarity, confidence, and a deeper trust in how you coach.

Practising before performing is not about playing it safe. It is about being intentional. It is a professional choice to honour your development and your clients by giving yourself places to learn, question, and refine your practice before everything is on show.

If you are curious about exploring this kind of learning within mentor coaching or group practice spaces, I run regular sessions designed specifically for this purpose. They offer a safe, supportive environment to practice, reflect, and sense-check your work alongside other coaches. You can find details and book upcoming sessions on the events page. Wherever you choose to do this learning, my encouragement is simple: give yourself permission to be seen, to ask the uncomfortable questions, and to let learning happen more quickly.